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Funny. Ambitious. Loving. Fixed in opinion and stubborn when confronted. Dreaming and planning for the future. Bookworm at heart.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Love Lesson

I don't know which is worse, being the one with the broken heart or being the person that broke his heart.

Too often we don't realize what we have until it's gone... too often we wait too long to say "I'm sorry, I was wrong."

The trouble with so many of us is that we underestimate the power of simplicity. We have a tendency to over complicate our lives and forget what's important and what's not. We tend to mistake movement for achievement. We tend to focus on activities instead of results. And as the pace of life continues to race along in the outside world, we forget that we have the power to control our lives regardless of what's going on outside.

Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. I've done my share of mistakes. I've cried and have been living with regrets but I realized that I can't go on living this way. I have to move on and accept the damage I've caused.

Sometimes we need to stop analyzing the past - stop planning the future - stop figuring out precisely how we feel - stop deciding with our mind exactly what we want our heart to feel - sometimes we just have to go with the flow.

It hurts to see someone you love ignoring you, it also hurts to see that he doesn't feel your love. But it hurts even more to know that he loves you too, and just doesn't want you to know. Maybe he's doing the same thing as I am... maybe he wants so bad to call me, but just won't because I haven't called him... then again, maybe I shouldn't fill myself with false hopes that he might just be missing me like I'm missing him. It's so hard to deal with the pain of losing someone, knowing that you lost them because you chose to let go. I've learned that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for a lifetime.

Wanting him is hard to forget, loving him is hard to regret, losing him is hard to accept, but even with all the hurt I've felt, letting go is the most painful yet. I can't seem to let go. They say letting go will ease the pain but it seems that the harder I try...the harder I fall.

However, letting go of someone doesn't mean you have to stop loving them, it only means that you allow that person to find his own happiness without expecting him to come back. That's the reality of it yet the most painful thing to accept.

Life doesn't hurt until you have time to yourself to think about how things have changed, who you've lost along the way, and how much of it is your fault. I needed that time to myself to realized how much I loved this guy. Yet, I caused this...I did the damage...I hurt the person that loved me and would have given me the world...It's my fault. And because of it, I possibly lost him forever.

Ladies, when you find yourself a good man, show him that you love him, show him that he means everything to you. When you are unsure whether it is love that you feel for him, take some time apart. Make sure you are honest and open and let him know how you're really feeling. Once that time has past, you'll know whether it is love. And once you know, your love will only grow stronger. Don't let the outside world influence you, don't let stress control you. Remember, he is there for you and he will always understand.

This is my love lesson. A hard and painful lesson learned. I know we've all been through it at some point in our lives, some more than once, but we have to remember that life brings us experiences (good and bad) and most importantly people who will make a big impact in your life. Remember that love is a powerful emotion...one that can break you down and tear your heart into pieces or bring you up and fill your life with happiness. Take the time to appreciate your significant other...let them know how much you love and care about them. You never know what tomorrow brings. Let's make the best out of the present and look forward to the future.

As for me, I'm staying strong. For the past month, I've cried my lil eyes out...I've done some crazy things, all for love. I learned that time and patience are key and if that person really loves you and is willing to forgive you and give you another chance, he'll come back. And once he does, don't take advantage of it. Instead, show them that they made the right choice by coming back. Show them all the love in the world that you didn't get a chance to show him the first time around.

Relationships are hard...but once you've found your true love...keep him. Don't make the same mistake I did.

I dedicate this post to the guy I was with...to the guy who made my life complete and made me happy...to the guy I hurt unintentionally...to the guy who I love and will continue to love... This is for you. I know there aren't any guarantee's in life but I'm still holding on. I'm looking forward to the day you return and accept me with open arms.


Marie said...

Good post, good read.

I hope you feel better... and most importantly, I hope he reads this!

...and everything girly under the sun!

Valerie said...

I hope & pray for your broken heart! I know it must hurt.. everything happens for a reason and I know you'll come out on top & stronger than ever :)

ting RN said...

awww this post made me tear!!! girl we all go through this... (most of us anyway)... love is exactly ... a lesson learned!! i hope u stay strong. and if its meant to be it will happen. I've been in that situation where i was scared to show my feelings and giving my all because i didnt want to get hurt but it just made things worse. *huggsss* feel better... and sometimes you just got to cry it all out... :) <3 tingy

♥Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder♥ said...

i have so been there so i definitely can relate. All i can say is give it time and just pray that time doesnt run out. If it is true and pure you two will reunite if not just take it one day at a time and you will regain your strength!!!

MZ.CYN.DEZ said...

Thanks ladies for all your comments. I appreciate the uplifting words. Staying strong is a challenge itself but knowing that there are ppl around you who care makes it a bit easier. Thank you!

princessvalecia said...

One thing I know is true relationships are hard. There is never a formula when you're dealing with emotions, but we all get through it. With time. Luv ya!

Malia said...

I just want to tell you that this is a great post. Your words are so thoughtful. I can feel your pain soooo much. I have also done things in my past that i try not to regret, we always have to try to live in the moment. What is done, is done and there is no time machine to go back and redo it.
You have a good head on your shoulders and i can tell you are a tough and strong women so i know you will have strength during this time of hard emotions to pull thru.
I will always wish you the best.
You seem like a best friend i have never met!
Keep your head up girl.
P.S dont forget we live in the same city so if you ever need anything let me know.

MZ.CYN.DEZ said...

@Malia - Girl, you made me cry!! Thank you so much for your sweet words.

Malia said...

No need to thank me i just wanted to show you some love! ;)

Andee Layne said...

every girl needs that post it!